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Pieces of Summer Page 4
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There’s too much blood to put my finger in my mouth unless I sprout fangs and turn into a vampire so I can enjoy it. It’s a small cut, but I’m bleeding like an alcoholic on blood thinners. Shit. My blood pressure must be ridiculous right now.
“Chase! What the hell? Why are you just staring? Get some towels.”
My eyes come up just as he rips his gaze away from me, and he stalks out the entrance, pushing through the doors so hard the glass on them rattles on impact.
“What the fuck, Chase?!” Whit calls after him.
But he doesn’t slow down. He gets in his truck, slams the door, and the beast of an engine roars as he slams it in reverse and cuts it back, speeding off like hell is on his heels.
“What the hell just happened?” Whit asks me.
“Guess he doesn’t like blood,” I mumble.
My eyes land on the lonely eagle by the entrance, and I swear it’s a bittersweet symbolic statement. This isn’t how my new life was supposed to go. It was supposed to read the end.
Chapter 6
CHASE
I’m drinking a beer when Whit walks in and slams the door.
“Where the hell have you been?” she barks.
I ignore her while staring at the TV, still drinking.
“Damn it, Chase, what the hell is going on? Two days ago you acted like you saw a ghost, then you ran off. Now you’re just sitting here after not calling me or coming home for two days?”
I start to point out it’s my home, not hers, but I think I’ve pissed her off enough. It’s not like I foresaw my worst fucking nightmare coming true.
“Just needed to clear my head,” I say before taking another sip.
“From what? First you act all kinds of skittish about the bowling alley, then you act like you’re going to tear Mika’s head off for no damn reason, and suddenly you disappear while she’s bleeding? I’m lucky she didn’t just fire me on the spot!”
I disappeared because I was seconds from dropping down and pinning Mika to the floor. Seconds from asking her a thousand questions about what the fuck she was doing in this town. Seconds from carrying her out of there and taking her to the ER for a simple cut on her finger.
Seconds from losing my motherfucking mind. That’s what I was.
“Getting really sick of the silent treatment. Talk or I freaking walk.”
As shitty and selfish as it is, I can’t let Whit walk. I’ll go straight to Mika’s if I don’t have an anchor holding me back. No way can I face her. No way do I want to get sucked back into a steel fortress of fucking misery after finally escaping.
What the hell is she doing here? Why did she do it? Why the bowling alley?
“Do you know Mika or something? She literally wouldn’t speak to anyone after seeing you, and she barely even came out on opening night after you left. She refused to come in the next day, and she’s been incredibly excited about this. Why do I get the feeling there’s something going on between you two? Oh, I know why. Because you both acted shocked to see each other. As though you knew each other in a past life or some shit.”
It feels like a past life. That’s for damn sure.
“I think she used to vacation here in the summers or something. Look, Whit, I just hate that bowling alley. I’ve told you this before.”
“Yeah, but you’ve never told me why. And that doesn’t explain why Mika freaked when she saw you.”
Forcing a smirk, I motion up and down my body. “Tends to intimidate most people.”
She rolls her eyes, but a slow smile starts to curve her lips as she calms down.
“Why do you hate that place?” she asks.
Not answering that.
“Have my reasons. So why did Mika buy the place? She living here or something?” I’ve been trying not to think about her, and now I’m asking questions. Questions I shouldn’t be asking the girl I’m dating. Questions I shouldn’t be asking at all.
“Yeah. She bought her dad’s house or something. She’s a murder/mystery author, but she said she’s been sick of the city for a while. Why are you asking about her if you don’t know her?”
Shrugging, I point my attention back at my beer and ignore the hot sensation on the back of my neck. Fuck. She’s staying here? Living here? Please let it just be for the summer.
“Chase,” Whit says softly, “what’s going on with you?”
Looking up at her, I decide to be completely honest. Well, completely honest without the details.
“I fucking hate summer.”
Chapter 7
CHASE
11 years ago…
Last summer was the best one yet. This summer is the last time we’ll have to wait. By next summer, she’ll be graduating and moving out here. I’d move there if I could, but she knows I can’t leave my mother. She’d be dead if I wasn’t constantly here to save her life.
Most people don’t consider her life to be a life worth saving, but she’s still my mother. She did what she could until life got too hard and she started drowning it out. Now it’s my turn to take care of her.
It sucks, but it’s the way it is. I’d love nothing more than to get out of Hayden, but I’ll be stuck here for the rest of my life or until Mom finally manages to get herself killed when I’m not in time to save her.
Besides, Hayden has one silver lining. It’s our fucking nest. And Mika will make this place shine once she’s here.
Annoyed with the fact it’s been four days past the normal time she shows up, I decide to finally head over to her dad’s place. Mika’s parents split up this past winter, which isn’t surprising. I think Jessica hated Milton most days, and he looked more exhausted every time I saw him.
Mika is nothing like her mother, thankfully.
Dad’s truck is gone, which isn’t a surprise. He’s probably off getting loaded at the bar in town, blowing what little bit of money we have on booze and poker. I have a decent paying job during the off season. I’m saving every fucking dime of it too. That way we’ll be one step closer to having that bowling alley next summer. Then… Then we’ll have endless summers.
Grabbing my skateboard, I jog down the dirt road until I hit pavement. As soon as there’s a smooth patch of road, I toss the board down, and start kicking my way to Mika’s much faster. It seems to take forever, but I finally get there.
Confusion and excitement hit me at once when I see the BMW inside the open garage. She’s here, which is perfect, but she didn’t come to me, which is the confusing part.
As soon as I step onto the porch, the door swings open before I get a chance to knock, and Milton gives me a grim, pitying expression. If Mika isn’t answering the door, then she’s probably in trouble for something. Normal kids get into trouble.
“What?” I ask him. “Is Mika grounded or something?”
I don’t know what it’s like to be grounded. If I piss my parents off they just throw shit at me or hurl insults my way. So I’m not sure what the protocol for being grounded is.
“Mika can’t come this summer. Her mother is being stubborn and irrational.”
My entire stomach slams into my toes, and my legs turn to rubber. By some miracle, I manage to stay upright.
“You’re sure?” I ask in a whisper that betrays the fact I’m trying not to act like he just punched me.
His pitying expression becomes more pronounced. It never once crossed my mind that she wouldn’t get to come. She never wrote anything like that in any of her letters.
“Look, Chase, I like you, kid. You know I do, but can I ask you an honest question?”
No idea what this has to do with Mika not coming, but I nod, unable to speak at the moment. Why hasn’t she written me about not coming?
“What happens when Mika is allowed to leave home? Do you two plan on eloping? Going to college? Going straight to work? I’ve asked her, but she refuses to even acknowledge me on the matter. The problem is that Mika has her own goals, but she’d give every one of them up just to be swallowed by your own dreams.”r />
Clearing my throat, I finally sit down. I can’t speak and stand, so sitting is the only option. The wicker chair creaks beneath me as I run my hand through my hair.
“We’re going to buy the Pins and Balls bowling alley as soon as we graduate.”
“With what money?” he asks.
“I’m working and saving up.”
The patronizing look he gives me mixes with sympathy as he takes a seat beside me.
“It’ll take a lot more money than an after school job can give you to even save up for a down payment to mortgage that place. Mika has a college fund, but it’s for just for college. She doesn’t get it just to be getting it. I’m a firm believer in taking care of a child, but not an adult. If she leaves home, she has to make it on her own.”
“I don’t want your money, Mr. Dalton,” I mutter, trying not to sound as insulted as I feel.
“I know that,” he says, blowing out a long, hesitant breath. “Mika ever tell you she wants to be a doctor?”
Again, it feels like I’m getting punched.
“No,” I whisper quietly, wondering why she wouldn’t tell me something like that. She’s only ever briefly mentioned being interested in the medical field, but never acted like it was a dream or anything.
“She didn’t tell you because she knows you can’t leave this town, son. She’d have to attend a nice college. She’d have to go through med school. She’d have to sacrifice a lot of time and energy and live somewhere close to campus. Not here. Then, to be a surgeon like she wants to be, she’d have to live in the city. A big one with a nice hospital. See where I’m going with this?”
I nod numbly, hating the taste of bile in my throat. Why didn’t she tell me?
The brief mention of the medical field is such a vague memory that I don’t even know why it was brought up. It never sounded like it was a passion at all. Not like it sounds when we talk about our dreams.
Or maybe she was trying to tell me what her dreams were, while I was too busy trying to find a way to trap her in this fucking town I’m forever stuck in.
Milton continues speaking while my mind drones on, shifting through the misplaced memories where I might have heard her better if I’d listened.
“Once upon a time, I married a woman who gave up her dream of being an actress because I was building a ranch in a town where my dead grandfather left me a lot of land. It gave me the chance to change my life, but my dreams eclipsed hers and she never really forgave me for it.”
He blows out another long breath as he puts his elbows on his knees. “Jessica loved me at one time. I thought a love like that could never possibly go cold. I loved her too. Still do. Probably always will. But she started hating me long before I found someone else.”
I swallow against the knot in my throat, trying and failing not to let his words fully resonate.
“Jessica resented me, and that resentment only grew over time. When she got left at home with the twins while I went out of town on business, that resentment festered. When she watched a TV show with a role that would have been perfect for her, she resented me a little more. When she got her first wrinkle before I did, she fucking hated me.” He laughs humorlessly, and it’s almost a sad, resigned sound.
“Then she finally stopped speaking to me unless it was to criticize me, or argue, or just say something hateful in general. All the good things faded over time until we were left with nothing but the shit we’d avoided over the years. That’s what resentment does, son. It festers, it builds, it pollutes, and it consumes. Tell me if you want to go through the hell I did, and I’ll find a way to get my daughter down here this summer. It won’t be easy, but I’ll make it happen if you promise me you’ll be able to live with this choice. Because I know how stubborn Mika is. She loves you. No doubt in my mind you love her too. Just curious if you love her enough to let her go, because this town will destroy her just like my ranch destroyed her mother.”
He stands up abruptly and starts to walk in, but he pauses by the door.
“Let me know what you decide,” he says after a few minutes of silence.
There’s not much of a decision. Deep down, I’ve always known Mika was too damn good for me and for Hayden. No one’s ever said it aloud until now. It was fucking stupid to ever think she’d be satisfied living the poor life while we struggle to clean up an old bowling alley.
The entire thing seems ridiculous and stupid now… childish and insane.
Wordlessly, I step off the porch, picking up my skateboard and tucking it under my arm. I don’t ride it, because I take the slow walk home, barely even remembering the trip when my door is suddenly in front of me.
As soon as I walk inside, I spot my mother on the couch with vomit oozing from her lips as she snores. Moving closer, I push her onto her stomach so she doesn’t choke on her puke and die, and I move into my bedroom, stepping over the dirt where the floor is missing, and sitting down on my dirty mattress.
Every reason I had for looking forward to the future is gone. I was stupid to think I ever deserved any of it. I’m a James. People don’t love us. They just fuck us. People don’t care about us. We just exist.
Life doesn’t open up and accept everyone. Some people get swallowed into the darkness or left out in the cold. I just wanted to stay in the warmth a little while longer.
When the first hot tear hits my cheek, I turn over on my side and stare through my broken window as the suffocating room gets hotter with the daylight. At least Mika will be happy, even if I continue to suffer through hell.
At least I can’t ruin her life if I’m not in it.
Chapter 8
CHASE
“You haven’t touched me all week,” Whit says against my ear, running her hand down my chest to my stomach, slipping it inside my boxers and latching on to my flaccid cock while I finish brushing my teeth.
I can’t even get morning wood right now. Fucking Mika. Fucking summer. Fucking life.
“I need to go,” I tell Whit, withdrawing her hand from my boxers and grabbing my jeans from the counter to put on.
“She was obviously more than someone you met one summer, so freaking tell me. This is getting old, Chase, and Mika still hasn’t been back to work. How stupid do you think I am? Maybe if you talk about it, you can stop being pissed off about whatever she did to you. It’s starting to make me hate her, and I don’t even know why I need to hate her. Obviously it was really bad.”
Shit. This is not a morning conversation. Hell, this isn’t an any-time-of-day conversation. But it’s not going away, because Mika is apparently not going away, and Whit has to work with her.
How the hell did this happen?
Blowing out a breath, I turn to face Whit. She really does look pissed.
“Mika was my first,” I say abruptly, watching as her eyes almost bug out of her head. Probably should have worded it differently.
“Holy shit. This can’t be real. Is that why she’s here?” she squeaks. “Because of you? Is that why she hired me?”
I grab her arms to keep her from flailing them into something, and hold her still.
“Trust me, she had no fucking clue you and I were together, because she sure as hell didn’t act like she expected to see me. And now she’s hiding because she’s avoiding me, just like I’m avoiding her.”
The confusion in Whit’s eyes is frustrating. I really don’t ever tell this shit to anyone. Not even my friends—the ones I kept. Blake and I bought the property with my shop and his garage together, then set up our own places. He came around that summer Mika disappeared, and he kept me from turning out just like my parents.
Not even he knows about her or how much she fucking destroyed me without even trying. He only knows there was a girl that I can’t talk about.
I was young then. I’m not anymore. So why do I still feel like I can’t control myself around her? Why am I fucking hiding in my own town from her?
Rolling my eyes and groaning, I try to explain a little more. Whit deserves it.
“She used to come up on the summers, and finally, one summer she took my V-card. End of story. It was the last summer I saw her,” I say, downplaying it without lying to her.
“So you’re both wild-eyed, crazy, and avoiding each other because she took your virginity? That’s it?” she asks me, even though her words are loaded with suspicion.
“Summer was intense. I’m the one who ended it, Whit. Not her.”
I’m the one who burned every letter that came after that day. I’m the one who knew it was smart to just move on. At least she finally quit sending the letters and moved on too. But what the fuck is she doing with our bowling alley in my town now after all these years? Why isn’t she a fucking doctor in New York?
And how the fucking hell am I going to stay away from her?
Whit runs a hand through her hair, still studying me. “So you’re over her? Because you both looked like it happened just yesterday. How long ago was it?”
“Eleven years ago it technically ended, but twelve years ago was the last summer I saw her,” I say without even having to think about it, then wince when her eyes widen. I knew those numbers too quickly. I should have at least pretended to count it up.
“Okay,” she says quietly, backing away. “I should probably get to work.”
I step aside and let her out, and she doesn’t look back at me before she shuts the door to the room. I haven’t even been able to fucking touch her in that way since the day I saw Mika back in town. She’s already in my head, and I barely even saw her.
I need to get my shit together before she tears it all apart.
Chapter 9
MIKA
Whit walks into my office, and I grimace. I’ve been dreading this. It’s not like I’ve been subtle about hiding from her. This is the first time I’ve even come back to the damn bowling alley in over a week, and I’ve had my office locked for most of the day.
“We need to talk,” she says, shutting the door without waiting for an answer.